The grass is always greener…!

I stood with an old friend the other day discussing the travails of a common friend. Our common friend was literally gong through hell! His wife was his problem!  Everyone suspected that the woman was having an affair or affairs but there was no hard evidence to challenge her with!

Dipo turned to me and uttered a Yoruba proverb that says that a woman cannot be content with a one husband unless she has had two husbands!

I completely disagreed. God is against divorce, I reminded him.

Dipo nodded his head patiently. ‘I know. But you are saying that because you are a Christian. What about folks that don’t believe in the Bible?’

“Are you advocating Bi-gamy as a way of life?” I queried

“Well, it’s not such a bad idea, if you think about if” He submitted. “Look,

Women are hardly ever content with their husbands! They are always comparing their husbands with other men. No matter how much you love and slave to provide for the family, they’re always on your case!”

“My wife is not like that” I countered

“She must be from the Mars then!” He sniggered.

I knew he had a point but I didn’t think it was fair to generalize. Besides it wasn’t as if men were without blame!

“Look I really think it depends on how you relate with your wife.” I reasoned.

“How do you mean?”

“Many women believe that their Husbands are not straight forward with them when it comes to finances. All they hear from the men is “I’m broke!”

They never know when he’s ‘liquid’. Even though he says he’s broke, they see signs that he’s not being honest. He’s giving away money or buying gifts for ladies!

state:

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER…!

Where did I go wrong? (5)

Darlene should the chain off its hook and moved the door back slowly.  She was shaking like a leaf as she stepped away from the door quickly.  It was customary for Timmy to give her a hug and a kiss but today that would be suicidal.  It was obvious that Angela was already high strung. It would be senseless pushing her off the edge!

‘Happy Valentine’s day,’ Timmy boomed, all smiles as he stepped into the lounge with the bunch of Roses behind his back.  He wanted to surprise Darlene. With one hand, he caught Darlene and swung her round, oblivious of the two other ladies in the lounge!

As he bent to give a petrified Darlene a kiss, his eye caught Angela standing by the wall pointing a gun at him.  The bunch of Roses dropped from his hand, and he stood, speechless, trying to comprehend the scene before him.

A few feet away, he could see Mary Darlene’s friend sitting at a far corner muttering to himself.

‘Try to get a hold of yourself Angela,’ Timmy managed to blurt out finally. ‘It’s not what you think, really!’

Angela stared at her husband and all she could feel was disdain! She couldn’t understand how she could have agreed to get married to him!

‘It’s not what I think?’ she asked turning to Mary.

‘Mary, please tell me what I’m supposed to think. He says it’s not what I think!  He’s cheating on me, he’s been lying to me and he says it’s not what I think.

Mary winced.  He couldn’t really blame Angela.  What sort of a fellow was this Timmy? Obviously, it would be best for everyone if he kept his mouth shut!

‘I’m really sorry Angela.’ Mary replied, her mind working furiously.  How in the world was she going to prevent blue murder happening before her very eyes, she wondered as she continued speaking.

“Believe me, if I had a gun, I would shoot this idiot myself. She swallowed hard and picked her words carefully.

“I’m still going to tell you that it’s not worth it Angela.  You can’t throw your life away because of this guy.  He’s just not worth it!”

It was as if Angela didn’t hear her at all!

“Sit your ass down.’ she screamed at Timmy who had lost all his confidence. He had never seen Angela this way since they got married and the look on her face wasn’t encouraging at all.  Getting out of the apartment would take a miracle! He sat gingerly at the edge of a hardback chair facing a window by the door.  What have gotten myself into now?, he wondered.

“How long have you been sleeping with her? Angela asked.

Timmy looked at his wife and kept quite.

Angela took two determined steps towards Timmy and he spoke up quickly.

“About two years”

“I thought you said it was over and you would never cheat on me again”

Angela confronted him

“I’m sorry, Timmy muttered under his breath.

“You’ll be sorry, I assure you. I’m to kill you and then kill myself,’

Angela threatened.

Mary rose to her feet and moved slowly towards Angela.

“Your Anger is beclouding your judgment” She stated again trying to reason with Angela

“What would killing anyone achieve?”

Mary muttered a quick prayer to God.  She needed all the help she could get to save the situation.  With every passing second Darlene and Timmy were inching towards the grave!

state:

WHERE DID I GO WRONG? (5)

Where did I go wrong? (4)

Mary seemed to be full of surprises. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed walking towards Darlene. “How could you sink so low?” she asked a confused Darlene. “My God, how could you? I can’t believe this!”

She turned towards Angela “I am so sorry. I guess I should have smelt a rat when she wouldn’t tell me about the guy she was dating. You can’t believe that I’ve always talked to her about things like this. Don’t date a guy you can’t go home with, I always tell her. I mean, if a guy can’t take you home, isn’t it obvious that he has a few Skeletons up his wardrobe? But Darlene just wouldn’t listen!

She turned back and faced Darlene. “I’m ashamed to be your friend Darlene. I’m embarrassed to even say I know you! My God!”

Angela was speechless. She just didn’t know what to say anymore!

“Look” Mary continued. “You don’t really want to kill her. If you do, they ‘re going to put you away for a very long time. It will be murder one and I’m sure you won’t survive in prison. I know, I just got out three years ago but I’m now a Christian and I’m studying for my Bar exams in six months! Your husband is a fool but he’s not worth your throwing your life away! Please put the gun away

“I’m sure we can figure this out. You are a pretty lady and you’re really cool and all that. I’m sure your two timing husband is a Cad and he deserves to rot in hell but honey, why would you want to shoot Darlene? She’s just a silly girl who needs to get her act together. I can assure that this adulterous relationship is over. If I see your husband anywhere near her again, I swear, I’m going to kill her myself” Mary concluded casting a frosty look in Darlene’s direction!

Angela sighed deeply as she looked at the two girls standing before her. It had been a long day and she was tired and emotionally drained. By now she was sure that coming to Darlene’s flat was a grave error. Besides, Mary’s intervention had to be God sent. Being a Christian herself, by now, she was quite frankly feeling embarrassed at the situation she had now put herself! She had unconsciously allowed anger to get the better of her!

“I don’t know”

She was interrupted by the Doorbell’s loud chant. She glanced at the door and back at Darlene who had started shivering like a leaf. She knew who it was. It could only be Timmy!

Mary moved to the door and peeked. “Uh oh!” she exclaimed.

Standing hands akimbo, stamping his foot to the rhythm of some music in his head was Timmy holding a fresh bunch of Roses!

“Who is it?” Angela asked. There was no way she could have guessed that it was Timmy. As far as she was concerned, Timmy would be at work till very late and he couldn’t possibly attempt to see Darlene that late.

“Just an Insurance guy or something” Darlene volunteered trying to get a hold of herself.

Angela could sense that she was trying to hide something.

Growing bold all of a sudden, she walked to the door and peeked.

The image of Timmy standing out there, holding a bunch of Roses was just too much for her. She backed away from the door and hissed at Darlene “Open the dammed door. I might as well finish what I started!”

Darlene didn’t move an inch. The look on Angela’s face said it all. She was no longer in control of her faculties. Anger had taken over again!

“If you don’t open that door, I’m going to kill you right now!”

Darlene moved slowly towards the door. Angela had the gun pointed at her and the tone of her voice was unlike something Darlene had ever heard in all her life. She could feel Goose pimples break out all over her body. There was no doubt in her mind! She knew she was face to face with death this time!

As for Mary she looked scared for the first time as she sat quietly on a chair with only her lips moving. She was, as Christians say, praying in the spirit! She was sure that she had brought everything under control and Angela was about to put the gun away when Timmy rang the doorbell! Now she was looking at another person entirely.

Mary recognized the look on Angela’s face from her days back at the Penitentiary. She had seen many women with that look just before attacking fellow in mates with various hand-made weapons. Angela’s face was a mask of fury as she fixed her gaze at the door, the gun in her hands pointed towards Darlene!

state:

WHERE DID I GO WRONG ? (4)

NB: You may want to read parts 1-3 which contain the beginning of the story before continuing here.

Where did I go wrong? (3)

You may want to read the two earlier parts to be able to follow the story!

Angela couldn’t believe her ears! Had Timmy gone mad? She looked the girl over again. ‘How old are you?’

‘Nineteen?’ Darlene replied keeping her eyes on Angela’s bag

‘You’re a bit too young to be destroying homes, don’t you think?

‘I’m sorry. I really didn’t know.’

Angela could feel a surge of power as she watched Darlene squirm on her seat. She closed her hand round the Butt of the Gun and smiled. If only Timmy knew what she was going to do!

‘Get up. she screamed at Darlene who leapt to her feet. The girl’s face was covered with tears! She obviously didn’t bargain for death at the hands of an irate wife!

The sound of the Doorbell interrupted Angela’s plans and she was momentarily confused. She hadn’t thought of the possibility of Darlene having a visitor!

‘Whom are you expecting?’

‘Nobody’ Darlene replied quickly. With all her heart, she hoped it wasn’t Timmy! It was Valentine’s Day and Timmy was sure to stop over after work. He had even suggested that he could pass the night!

Angela didn’t know what to do and she had to think fast. Maybe it was best to ignore the visitor.

‘Don’t answer it,’ she whispered.  She was becoming nervous and her confidence was suddenly ebbing!

The visitor at the door was however determined. The doorbell rang relentlessly and with every ring Angela became more nervous.

‘Get the door,’ she finally whispered pointing towards the door. ‘If you allow anyone in, I will kill you. She brought out the Gun and aimed it at Darlene’s head. ‘Tell whoever it is that you don’t want to be disturbed. I don’t care who it is!

Darlene could sense by now that Angela wasn’t a killer but she could see how nervous she was. That was some relief but the gun could easily go off with the way she was waving the thing around!

She moved slowly towards the door and peeped through the eye. It was Mary, her childhood friend! Darlene heaved a sigh of relief.

‘Who is it?’ Angela grunted, trying to sound mean

‘It’s Mary my friend. She’s harmless.

‘Get away from the door!’

Darlene moved away slowly. Mary had caught a glimpse of her through the eye in the door and she knew there was no way Mary would leave without her opening the door. There was however no point in arguing with the agitated lady pointing a Gun at her.

Mary indeed refused to leave! Wondering what could be wrong with her friend, she started banging at the door!

Darlene waved her hands helplessly. ‘Mary won’t go away if I don’t open the door. Besides, she may attract the neighbours with all that noise. Let me open the door for her, she is harmless.

Angela was beside herself. Now she was totally confused. Why had she decided to come here in the first place? She was mad, yes, but could she really have killed this girl?

‘Okay, let her in,’ She called out calmly even though her insides were churning!

‘If you guys try anything, I’ll kill you both! She threatened.

Darlene slid the door open and in came a tall, skinny girl wearing a Navy blue skirt suit.

‘Why did it take you ages to get the door? Do you have a man in there with you? She queried her friend before noticing Angela. ‘Oh my God!’ she exclaimed backing into the door.

‘You are not robbing her, are you? She blurted out, staring at Angela

‘Shut, shut up. Angela stammered. ‘Put your hands up and sit down quietly. Who are you and what do you want?

To Angela’s surprise, Mary put her hands on her hips and stared straight at her. ‘Look here Girl, I don’t know who you are and I don’t really care. I’m not going to allow you to talk to me like that! So, holding a Gun makes you feel powerful? You should be ashamed of yourself! My God, you look like a decent lady. What’s the matter with you?

Darlene was flabbergasted! She couldn’t believe her ears. What was Mary trying to do? Get them killed?

‘My friend doesn’t know what she is talking about,’ she volunteered quickly. ‘Don’t pay any attention to her!

Angela was now more than confused. In the movies, the girl with the gun would have shot at the blabber mouth or slapped her or something like that. This was not the movies however.

She walked back to the couch and sat down heavily. ‘You are a very silly girl,’ she announced staring at Mary. Do you think I can’t use this gun? I wouldn’t bet on that. You friend here has been sleeping with my husband and I came here to teach her a lesson. You are not helping matters by running off your mouth at all.

state:

WHERE DID I GO WRONG ? (3)

What they didn’t teach us at Harvard! (2)

NB: Please read Part 1 for better understanding

‘I don’t think it’s just us. Terry commented ‘There is no school of matrimony anywhere in the world, is there?

‘You have a point there,’ Ade agreed turning back to face the others ‘It’s ironic, isn’t it? We got educated in an important part of life but we didn’t know it was necessary to get education in an equally, if not more important area of life, Marriage!

‘Maybe people don’t consider marriage more important. Maybe that’s why nobody ever thought of starting a school of Matrimony. Bruce proffered

‘I know some people won’t ever get married but for those that do get married, a happy marriage is more important than a successful career. Look at us. Frankly, I’d rather be poor and happily married than what I am right now! Terry explained

‘I know it sounds strange but I would give up everything I have right now for a happy marriage. The truth is, if I gave everything up, in two years, I’ll have it all back! I know how to make money but I just don’t know how to make a happy marriage!

Everyone laughed but Ade’s point was well made. The friends kept quiet for a few minutes again.

‘Well, where are we going to find a school of Matrimony? Bruce asked aloud

‘I’m going to work on that. Ade announced. ‘Maybe I’ll start one. I’ll get a few people with successful marriages around and get them to put their secrets in books or even run seminars and things like that.

‘I’d love to be a part of that. Terry voiced out

‘Anybody else interested? Ade asked

‘Are you kidding me? Bruce shouted. ‘You can enroll me as your first student right now!

Everyone laughed out loud again.

‘I guess Tina’s death is going to do some good after all! Larry observed.

‘Yeah, but do you think folks would really come to a school to learn about marriage, I mean most people are busy trying to earn an income! Bruce enquired.

‘And, I’m in Australia. How am I going to attend a school of Matrimony in Nigeria?

‘What about the Internet? You can get all sorts of Degrees doing courses on the Internet you know. Terry exclaimed

‘I guess you’re right. You guys are really warming up to this aren’t you? Ade commented

‘Well it’s a great idea. Bruce observed. ‘My only regret is that we didn’t think of this earlier. You can’t believe the problems I’m having. I thought the problems all had to do with my ex-wife. Now I know better. The same problems are cropping up in my second marriage!

Larry looked at his watch ‘My God, we’ve been at this for three hours. We need to get some sleep don’t we?

Everyone agreed and the friends all stood up. It was going to be a long day.

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WHAT THEY DIDNT TEACH US AT HAVARD! (2)