Father against inter-religion marriage. What should they do?

I watched your programe today, and it crossed my mind about a situation whereby there are two people in love, so in love they actually feel there should get married. But there is a problem; the girls father is a staunch Muslim, but the mother is a converted Christian. The boy is a Christian. the mother is in full support but the father is not. dont you think they should go ahead? pleease ild like you to reply to my box cos i stumble don the prog today and I’im not sure if ild be so lucky when you air these.

Hi, The Couple have to be patient and prayerfully wait for God to turn the Girl’s father’s heart. With God, all things are possible. It is important not to get married in defiance of one’s father

Like mother like daughter?

I could tell that Joseph was worried.  I had asked him to look down the road and tell me what he thought his life would be like in ten years!

Even though Joseph was quite confident about his future as regards his career and life generally, he had deep-seated fears about his personal life! This indeed is the same irony that confronts countless souls the world over! Many have found it true that no amount of public success can compensate for private failure!

I tried to find out the cause of Joseph’s fears about his personal life. I was quite mystified since according to him, Nkechi, his girl friend, was attractive, educated and out going.  She was a Christian and seemed genuinely committed to Jesus!

‘There must be something about this girl that’s making you cautious. You have to discover whatever it is and deal with it, I advised as I examined the Chessboard before me.  Joseph was quite good and the game would be over in a matter of minutes unless I could think fast!

“It’s been going on for weeks, this nagging feeling. The problem is, we’re engaged! If we weren’t, I’d probably just stop seeing her until I was able to identify the reason behind my feelings.”

“Have you met her parents?” I asked of the cuff.

Joseph grimaced. ‘Her father is okay but her Mom?’

“How do you mean?” I asked happy that I was getting some more information that could help us.

“Her Mum is a domineering woman! Her Dad hardly talks when she is around. She’s about four times his size and I think the man is afraid of her!”

I smiled and relaxed back into my chair. I still didn’t have a clue as to how I was going to win the Chess game but I had found the key to Joseph’s problems.

“I can tell you why you’re scared of spending the rest of your life with Nkechi,” I announced to a bewildered Joseph.

“What’s wrong with me?” Joseph asked with some measure of relief written all over him.

“You can see what Nkechi is going to be like in some twenty years and you’re scared!”

Joseph looked bewildered. “I don’t understand.” he pointed out

“You can see Nkechi becoming what her mother is today in some twenty years time! You suspect that she’s going to look like and act like her mother and you don’t want to wake up and find yourself living with a brawling, domineering wife someday!

I could see a look of relief come into Joseph’s eyes.  He could understand exactly what I had just said. Some time back, during one of our several discussions on marriage, I had informed him that it would be best to pay close attention to one’s future in-laws because about 70% of children end up becoming like their parents in later life.  This is true in appearance and mannerisms!

Unknown to many, children study their parents and learn from them while growing up. In later years, most children find that they begin to imitate their parents! The image of a two year old tramping about in Daddy or Mummy’s shoes hold a far greater significance than many of us realize! This attempt to be like Daddy or Mummy goes on throughout our lives!

“I guess you are right,” Joseph replied. “I definitely don’t want to find myself married to someone like her mother in some twenty years!”

I smiled again.  This was one smart dude! If only Singles the world over were that smart. Simply paying attention to your future father or mother- in- law will give you an idea of how your sweetheart will turn out in later years!

Before you bite my head off, let me quickly add that I am not saying that all children turn out exactly like their parents in character and mannerisms.  There are always exceptions to a general rule.  In this case however, people who do not turn out like their parents are people who consciously work at themselves to turn out different! It’s a tough job but it can be done and several folks have done it!

Haven’t you heard the saying ‘Like father like son’ or as in this case ‘Like mother like daughter’?

state:

LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER?

Should I marry a less comfortable man?

I was married for 2years to a rich guy now divorce for 7 year, am about to marry a man i really care for, but the problem is am more comfortable than him because i earn more than him but i don’t want to end off doing everything I want him to provide for me as a man for the basic things in life how do i go about it.

Hi, it is a man’s role to provide for his family but you have to understand that in marriage, the two of you become one. It is advisable to discuss issues like this before you get married. Let him know your expectations and watch his reaction. If he has no objections, no problem but if he is not comfortable with your expectations, you better re-consider getting married to him!

Can I ask my mother-in-law to leave?

Is it right for my husband to bring his mother in-law to look after my baby and now does not want his mother to go back to where she lives with her husband

Please explain nicely to your husband that living with his mum may not help your marriage. Couples are supposed to be separate from both parents if they want to succeed in marriage. Thanks

What can one do when her husband is alway cheating?

What can one do when her husband is always cheating on her

Hi, Unfaithfulness in a marriage signifies that there is something seriously wrong with the marriage. You have to sit down with your husband and find out why he is cheating on you. You have to tell your husband that you cannot tolerate infidelity. If he is not prepared to stop, then let him know that he may have to chose between his girlfriends and his wife. If he sees that you are serious he will know this is a serious matter. You can also get in touch with his relatives to let them know what is going on. Finally, you have to pray to God to help you.

Genotype (AS) complicating relationships. What should I do?

Hello, pls this question has long been eating me up thanks for Christ who has been there for me all the while. problems started about 2 yrs ago. after dating a guy for 2yr i discover that his genotype is AS and my genotype is AS also so we decided to part ways last year i went into another relationship and latter and i discover my friend is also AS (genotype)now am really confused after wasting almost 4year in relationship all together am 28 my friend is 30 it was also very difficult for him too to just lets go and most difficult for me too bcos this is the kind of guy i ve prayed for all my whole life letting go will take something worth like life from me so in one word we decided to consult a Gynecologist who said it is possible to go ahead but when its time for babies to come i ve to be under observation so they can know if the baby is As or SS and if SS they can terminate at an early stage which i agreed also believe strongly that i will not ve to terminate at all as long as christ is still on the throne it will only make me get closed to GOD more than before. now my boyfriend mum now says NO. Now my boyfriend is ready to fight it all which i hate so much. i dont want to have any problem with any of his family . now i dont know what to do. I am very confused.

Hi Your case is not hopeless because with God, all things are possible! If you insist on getting married to someone who is AS your faith must be strong. It is not easy to manage an SS child and some end up dying. Can you handle all that? I have however seen cases where people prayed and SS turned to AA. Let me say in closing that unless you are 100% sure that God is saying marry this guy, I think you should believe God for an AA. My best friend was an SS guy. He died at 32. It was terrible!

Online only relationship. Is this kind of love real?

Is it possible for someone to date a guy he never see before but they do chat on net and the guy call the girl on phone everyday and anytime he called he do tell this girl to talk to his mum and the girl to her aunty. Pls is this kind of love real.

Hi, This sounds cute but please don’t get excited about someone you haven’t met physically. He may not be what you think he is! This love is not real!

Unemployed and disrespected by wife. What is the way forward?

I am married with a son and another yet to come but, my marriage problems started 1 year after i lost my job and, all my wife keep saying anytime we have a quarrel is, am leaving. infact, iam tired of hearing it most times that i don’t have enough money to cook in the house that we have to manage, she will not want to cook an neither will she offer to assist in other to see that the kids eat, i have always been the only one doing everything. i cook,etc Infact iam the wife and the husband of the house. please help me out b4 something strange happens

HI, I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR DILEMA. ITS UNFORTUNATE BUT YOU SHOULDNT JUST SIT AT HOME LOOKING FOR A JOB. GOD MADE MEN TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOME AND THAT MEANS BEING A BREAD WINNER. YOUR WIFE MAY NOT RESPECT YOU UNTIL YOU BECOME THE BREAD WINNER AGAIN. THIS IS WRONG BUT THATS THE WAY IT IS IN MOST HOMES. PLEASE GET OUT AND FIND ANY KIND OF JOB TO KEEP YOU OCCUPIED AND TO PROVIDE SOME MONEY FOR YOUR FAMILY, NO MATTER HOW SMALL. IT WILL NOT TAKE LONG FOR GOD TO GIVE YOU A MIRACLE IF YOU CAN BELIEIVE IN HIM. HANG IN THERE, ITS TOUGH BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT!

Betrayed. How can I start again?

Hi! yesterday i watched ur program 4 d 1st time, it was wonderful and i was touched, infact i cried. i was just out of a 5yrs relationship ,my boyfriend travelled abroad since 03 dec & since then everything turned around. last yr i was told he was getting married in dec 04 and d painful part is that he still calls, bt he never told me of such. he’s married now. pls should i let him know am aware that he’s married or i should play along with his tricks? am very bitter abt it, at times i feel like killing myself, he’s friends didnt even tell me & i speak wth them on phone too. should i ask them or should i play a novis?. secondly, will God 4give me cos i had 3 abortions 4 him and yet he threw me away like that for a years affair. how will i find true love? cos i’ve shot my heart 4 guys. thanks.(he is yoruba and am ibo)

Hi, I think you should ask him if he’s really married. If you are sure he’s married, the earlier you forget about him, the better. The Bible says that if you surrender your life to Jesus, he will forgive you of your sins and he will take care of you. Please give your life to Jesus if you haven’t. There is a lot you need to learn about relationships. Please stay with datingcycle.com and you will learn a lot. Get our books from the bookshop on the website and read them. You can still find true love but you need to learn how to recognize true love. Thanks and God bless

Mother against my relationship. Should I go ahead?

I am dating a guy but my mum dose nt like it cos she said his yoruba and i am igbo she say yoruba guys dont stick to one women but my grand ma and aunt says there’s noting wrong with him love him and believe there’s noting wrong in it the problem is that my want me to stop seeing him which i cant my aunt and grandma says that all i need to do is concentrate on my studies and leave every thing to god i hope she changes her mind i need a ans on how to go about the hole thing.

Hi, While I cant advise that you break up the relationship, let me advise you that it is dangerous to get married if your mum doesn’t change her mind about the guy. Keep on praying. If you are a child of God and God wants you guys to get married, your mum will eventually change her mind. Be patient.